How Was Your Night?
I woke up every hour last night. Horrible, realistic dream after horrible, seriously too-close to reality dream. I wondered how this could be at 7:23am. I cleared my thoughts before I slept last night. My journal was supposed to hold all of it while I rested peacefully. What happened? I greeted my sister around 8:04am and asked if she happened to have bad dreams. “Wicked,” she stopped her work and looked at me. I began questioning if there was a full moon last night. I quickly said “me too” and walked into the bathroom. My brain didn’t have the effort to relive the blah I experienced all night. By 8:37am I finally had some breakfast. It is a good thing I took that late night trip I didn’t want to go on to the dollar general for some Honey Bunches of Oats last night or I might have been scrambling some eggs for the 4th time this week. I don’t even like eggs all that much. It’s just no one has had the time to go grocery shopping. I pulled up my email to begin answering the lovely souls behind each inbox as I took the first bit of cereal. I was in a serious slum and by 8:52am I was over it. I went and washed my dish out, came back upstairs, grabbed my journal, and as I went to put on the instrumental I know will help me get it all out, I opened my favorite devotion. 9:03am: Today’s devotional title: “DO NOT DWELL”. I smiled as tears blurred the words. I turned the sap music off, finished todays quick read and began to write this much needed realization.
God knows me so well.
And of course He has great humor too. He knew that this title, that I honestly didn’t really think matched the content of the devo well, would be the best way to remind me of some things I forgot this morning.
He is consistent: Always knowing how to catch me off guard so I know it’s okay to listen. He literally does it so often, so well.
He is ever-present: He was with me all night, through each dream, and with me at my desk helping me function through the list of emails I had to respond too.
He is all knowing: He knew I was in a slum last night and He knew that this slum continued into today. And He knows I am not happy about it- at all.
He is counselor: He listened to me last night, this morning, and always helps me get out of my head.
He is Father: Constantly pushing me towards what is best for me. When I read ‘do not dwell’ in big bold letters, I felt Him saying: you are stronger than this. You know truth, you have tasks to get done today, and I gave you the ability to do them. So what are you going to do today? Dwell in this slum or know that I am taking care of the things you cannot right now, so you can do the things you are capable of?
9:32am: I am finished reflecting. The world still isn’t perfect, but luckily I am not God. I am only me and I will focus on what I am able to do, while I trust He has got the rest.
How was your night?
Until next time.
Recommended song: You're Gonna Be Ok by Jenn Johnson