I turn 25 in five days and it is a bit surreal. I guess every birthday has been a blur since I hit 21. Maybe because the other years are random, besides 22. Thanks Tay. When I was younger I would imagine where I'd be at 25. Never would I have thought I'd be traveling so frequently. Living life basically as a minimalist. I thought maybe I'd be working in a city, have my own apartment, finished with grad school. Maybe marriage would be in the picture, or not, or a dream alternative; singing and beginning small tours. Well, I used to dream of huge ones. I really didn't care as long as it was with Joe Jonas. It hasn't happened, but I promise you fam it will. I think whatever I pictured, the younger me always had a sense that I would be doing something unusual.
And now reality.
I am on my second flight on route to Nicaragua, obviously thinking about turning 25. I love the younger me because I was realistic, but also a dreamer... Okay maybe a huge dreamer. I guess if I went back in time I could tell the younger me that what I predicted is somewhat true. Maybe not the job in the city or the crazy huge tour; but rather I am still a dreamer and believe I can do whatever I work toward in life. Sure, I haven't finished, or even started grad school, but I do have that Bachelor’s degree hanging on the wall, or maybe under my bed. I don't live in a particular city, but I've visited and experienced several. I even had an apartment in Hawaii for some time.
I never toured with Joe Jonas, but I have played on way too many stages to count with good old Dean (my guitar).
So, 25 is just a number right?
It still scares me when I say it because the pressure to be "someone" in societies standard grips me slightly each time I say my age out loud. This past year I would often joke about experiencing a "quarter life crisis" at 25, but during this flight I made the decision to let the "life crisis" wait. I've done a lot, maybe not the typical, but who wants to be normal? I mean what is better than a life full of traveling and working with people that probably teach me more than I could ever teach them? My younger self had some good ideas, ideas I still think about, ideas I'll continue to explore. Before you know it you'll see me on stage with Joe Jonas, maybe.
I'll be learning and exploring my next home: Managua, Nicaragua
Written: May 15, 2016 // Edited: September 27, 2017 // Music while editing: Sun by Sleeping at last