5 Days

5 Days

I turn 25 in five days and it is a bit surreal. I guess every birthday has been a blur since I hit 21. Maybe because the other years are random, besides 22. Thanks Tay. When I was younger I would imagine where I'd be at 25. Never would I have thought I'd be traveling so frequently. Living life basically as a minimalist. I thought maybe I'd be working in a city, have my own apartment, finished with grad school. Maybe marriage would be in the picture, or not, or a dream alternative; singing and beginning small tours. Well, I used to dream of huge ones. I really didn't care as long as it was with Joe Jonas. It hasn't happened, but I promise you fam it will. I think whatever I pictured, the younger me always had a sense that I would be doing something unusual.

And now reality.

I am on my second flight on route to Nicaragua, obviously thinking about turning 25. I love the younger me because I was realistic, but also a dreamer... Okay maybe a huge dreamer. I guess if I went back in time I could tell the younger me that what I predicted is somewhat true. Maybe not the job in the city or the crazy huge tour; but rather I am still a dreamer and believe I can do whatever I work toward in life. Sure, I haven't finished, or even started grad school, but I do have that Bachelor’s degree hanging on the wall, or maybe under my bed. I don't live in a particular city, but I've visited and experienced several. I even had an apartment in Hawaii for some time.

I never toured with Joe Jonas, but I have played on way too many stages to count with good old Dean (my guitar).

So, 25 is just a number right?

It still scares me when I say it because the pressure to be "someone" in societies standard grips me slightly each time I say my age out loud. This past year I would often joke about experiencing a "quarter life crisis" at 25, but during this flight I made the decision to let the "life crisis" wait. I've done a lot, maybe not the typical, but who wants to be normal? I mean what is better than a life full of traveling and working with people that probably teach me more than I could ever teach them? My younger self had some good ideas, ideas I still think about, ideas I'll continue to explore. Before you know it you'll see me on stage with Joe Jonas, maybe.

Until 25,

I'll be learning and exploring my next home: Managua, Nicaragua


Written: May 15, 2016 // Edited: September 27, 2017 // Music while editing: Sun by Sleeping at last

Hannah DawberComment